Last month I read Nic Sheff's memoir, Tweak, about his battle as a meth-addict. Beautiful Boy is written by Nic's father, and is his account of the struggle from the perspective of a loving parent. Having already read Nic's book, it was interesting to re-learn about specific incidents and to compare the viewpoints. As a non-addict, I found Beautiful Boy much more accessible, and infinitely more frightening than Tweak. David Sheff is amazingly honest in this book - not just about his powerlessness over his son's addiction, rehab, and relapses, but about his anger - and his wish at times completely to eliminate all memories of his son from his life. Sheff is remarried (to Nic's step-mother), and has two young children from his second marriage - both of whom adore Nic and are both saddened and frightened by their brother's erratic behavior. Sheff focuses on his personal journey to understand rehab, his work in Al-Anon, his attempts to see how his parenting played a role in Nic's addiction, and his own co-depedence on Nic's well-being. But, he also delves into the profound effect an addict has on an entire family. As heart-breaking as it is to read about a parent's desire to both save their child, but also come to understand that sometimes walking away is the best thing, it is even more difficult to see the impact on these small children as they stretch to understand the incomprehensible. Beautiful Boy is scary - it really highlights the reality that addicts come from all walks of life - from families who love them and from parents who have tried their very best. Sheff is a well-read writer and musicophile who peppers his prose with book quotes and song lyrics - all of which I found profoundly appropriate, while also demonstrating the impact of art on our lives, and in Sheff's case the need to create art (his writing) in order to ignite and maintain the healing process. This book amazed me on so many levels, and got me thinking about so many issues surrounding child-rearing, family, and support in our communities - not to mention the obvious issues of addiction and recovery. This book does not profess to have all the right answers, but it has many answers and many roads to finding the answers for families dealing with similar nightmares. I feel like this is one of those books that everyone should read - it would probably help people in similar situations, and for those lucky enough not to be going through the same situation as the Sheffs, it would probably help to cultivate more understanding and sympathy for this enormous problem. I feel blessed to have come across these two memoirs, and know they have spurred me to continue my quest to gain a greater understanding of these incredibly important issues.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Beautiful Boy - David Sheff
Last month I read Nic Sheff's memoir, Tweak, about his battle as a meth-addict. Beautiful Boy is written by Nic's father, and is his account of the struggle from the perspective of a loving parent. Having already read Nic's book, it was interesting to re-learn about specific incidents and to compare the viewpoints. As a non-addict, I found Beautiful Boy much more accessible, and infinitely more frightening than Tweak. David Sheff is amazingly honest in this book - not just about his powerlessness over his son's addiction, rehab, and relapses, but about his anger - and his wish at times completely to eliminate all memories of his son from his life. Sheff is remarried (to Nic's step-mother), and has two young children from his second marriage - both of whom adore Nic and are both saddened and frightened by their brother's erratic behavior. Sheff focuses on his personal journey to understand rehab, his work in Al-Anon, his attempts to see how his parenting played a role in Nic's addiction, and his own co-depedence on Nic's well-being. But, he also delves into the profound effect an addict has on an entire family. As heart-breaking as it is to read about a parent's desire to both save their child, but also come to understand that sometimes walking away is the best thing, it is even more difficult to see the impact on these small children as they stretch to understand the incomprehensible. Beautiful Boy is scary - it really highlights the reality that addicts come from all walks of life - from families who love them and from parents who have tried their very best. Sheff is a well-read writer and musicophile who peppers his prose with book quotes and song lyrics - all of which I found profoundly appropriate, while also demonstrating the impact of art on our lives, and in Sheff's case the need to create art (his writing) in order to ignite and maintain the healing process. This book amazed me on so many levels, and got me thinking about so many issues surrounding child-rearing, family, and support in our communities - not to mention the obvious issues of addiction and recovery. This book does not profess to have all the right answers, but it has many answers and many roads to finding the answers for families dealing with similar nightmares. I feel like this is one of those books that everyone should read - it would probably help people in similar situations, and for those lucky enough not to be going through the same situation as the Sheffs, it would probably help to cultivate more understanding and sympathy for this enormous problem. I feel blessed to have come across these two memoirs, and know they have spurred me to continue my quest to gain a greater understanding of these incredibly important issues.
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1 comment:
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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