Happy Birthday, America!

We live in a small town that LOVES the Fourth of July.  Folks begin putting their chairs out along the parade route the Sunday before, so I figured this was also a good time to start our celebration. Here's what we've been doing to prepare for the big day.

In the music department, the kids have enjoyed learning Yankee Doodle.  I also taught them When the Saints Go Marching In, because even though it has nothing to do with Independence Day, it is played by the jazz bands in our town parade.  The kids love singing it while they play "marching band" through the house.  We have a lot of bells, so in one of my never-too-successful attempts to introduce my kids to poetry, I read Longfellow's The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere  while they ran through the house ringing their bells and chanting "one if by land, two if by sea!!"  Not quite as stealthy as Paul Revere, but I hope something might sink in.

Ben's Fourth of July Fireworks

We've had a few red, white, and blue art projects, including coloring pages, which I always have on hand for a quiet morning or evening activity.  We also tried this simple Straw Fireworks Painting Project.  There are also so many great cooking projects for kids that come with the Fourth.  We made some red finger jell-o the other night, but I look forward to trying some of these other patriotic recipes.

As for books, here are a few we've been reading:

• John, Paul, George and Ben - Lane Smith
• Betsy Ross - Alexandra Wallner
• A Picture Book of Paul Revere - David Adler (he has additional picture books about other key Revolutionary War figures)

Another one about the American Revolution that I haven't read since elementary school (but did just request from the library) is My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier.  I probably read it around age 8 and it was the book the began my love of historical fiction.  For young adults, I recommend Johnny Tremaine by Esther Forbes. 

For adults, excellent biographies on the key players in the Revolution abound.  My favorite is probably Benjamin Franklin: An American Life by Walter Isaacson.

Stamping out fireworks

While I love the celebration of the Fourth of July: the food, the parades, the fireworks, I am well aware of the fact that freedom and independence aren't enjoyed by everyone in this country.  To this end, I encourage everyone to speak openly with their children about what this country stands for, the ideals that we strive for, and what we can all do in our communities to ensure that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are equally accessible to all.  I truly welcome any and all suggestions for books and activities folks have found to help raise awareness in children.  We wish everyone a happy and safe Fourth of July!

Dealing with Death - Helping our son grieve

Last September, my brother-in-law and Ben's favorite uncle passed away.  He was someone Ben saw several times a week and they had grown quite close.  When he died, Ben was 2 years, 7 months, and most certainly not old enough to understand death.  While I'd hoped he would be older when I had to start trying to explain it to him, my husband and I wanted to find a way to be honest and give him room to ask questions with the hope that he would come to a better understanding over time.

Of course, I turned to books as a way to introduce the topic.  I collected recommendations and read through a number of them in advance.  There are a lot of options out there, and depending on a child's age and family's beliefs, there is certain to be something for everyone.  The books we read that seemed to be helpful in terms of getting Ben to open up included the following:

• The Invisible String - Patrice Karst
• Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Death - Pat Schweibert
• The Way I Feel - Janan Cain (about feelings, not death specific)

Books I have found comforting in the face of death and understanding my own feelings - these are links to my blog pieces on each of these books:

• The Year of Magical Thinking - Joan Didion
• Let's Take the Long Way Home - Gail Caldwell
• A Widow's Story - Joyce Carol Oates
• Swimming in a Sea of Death - David Rieff

When books and words are too much, it's also nice to have a quiet place to go and just remember.  Ben's aunt has a Zen Garden in her backyard where she has a memorial to her late husband.  It's a beautiful place, and while Ben has shown some reluctance about going to it when he visits, he often talks about it as a place where he can visit his uncle if he ever wants to.  I know he is still a little confused by the concept, but at the same time, I feel like it does bring him some comfort.  I definitely don't always have good answers for all his questions, but in an effort to keep the memory alive of the ones we love, it's nice to be able to keep having the conversation. 

Children's Author of the Week: Gyo Fujikawa

Gyo Fujikawa, born and raised in Berkeley, California to Japanese parents, passed away in 1998 at the age of 90.  She created and illustrated more than 50 books for children.  We first discovered her when my mom bought Ben a copy of her A to Z Picture Book.  The illustrations are just adorable and each page is filled with pictures and words to help build vocabulary.  Ben loved the "B is for busy babies" page the best and would spend upwards of 15-20 minutes at a year-and-a-half just looking from baby to baby and talking about what each one was doing.  We also enjoyed the "C" page which pictures a baby named Clara who is "crawling."  Another favorite book is Good Morning.  Alice, in particular, loves the pages with kids doing two of her favorite things:  eating a huge breakfast and playing in the mud.

The books are written in simple language or rhymes and are perfect for children who are at the age where they are fascinated by babies (for my kids around 14-22 months) as many of the illustrations feature babies or young children.  The books are colorful and busy with so much to talk about and imitate.  And everything, from my perspective, is just so much fun to look at.  While my kids are getting a bit older, I can still see myself wanting to decorate their rooms with some of the prints.  Or maybe I'll just seek out a few for my own room!

  

Sum it Up - Pat Summit

Like many people, I have a fear of dementia.  As a result, I am drawn to books about people living with dementia, caring for those who have dementia, and any type of neuropsychological study aimed at preventing it.  I previously reviewed two fiction books featuring main characters suffering from dementia, Still Alice and Turn of Mind.  Yet, I was reluctant to read Pat Summit's memoir - perhaps not really wanting to a real non-fiction account of one facing dementia, especially a woman so known for her strength.

To be fair, this is not a book about living with dementia.  It is a book about a truly extraordinary woman making a name for herself in what was once perceived as a man's world.  She is a woman who worked hard no matter what and made incredible sacrifices on and off the court.  There is a lot of basketball in this book - and I think a reader who loves the game will take more from what Summitt has to say, but clearly the book has a more universal appeal.  Pat Summit is amazing.  That she has now gone public with her diagnosis is just one brave act in her lifetime of brave acts, and I hope that as she becomes one of the many faces of early-onset Alzheimer's she will help others see the need we have for more research in this area, and help people understand the true courage of those living with the disease, as well as those caring for them.

The World is a Rainbow

Currently my girls are learning their colors, and I'm looking for all kinds of ways to reinforce what they're learning - through the usual painting and coloring - and of course, through books.  There are a million and one books for children about colors, and our local library has a section of them which makes them easy to find.  In addition to the usual board books about colors, here are some of the fun ones we've been reading lately:

One by Kathryn Otoshi: When Red bullies all the other colors, they must learn to stand up for themselves in this book about colors, numbers, and speaking up when things aren't right.  Clara took to the brush painted illustrations in this book immediately, asking to read it over and over.

Extra Yarn by Mac Barnett, illustrations by Jon Klassen: this is not a book that sets out to teach about colors, but it is a charming story about a young girl who lives in a black and white world and finds a box of colorful yarn.  There are a number of morals within the story, but I liked the idea of paying more attention to the beauty and colors all around us, and used it as a way to talk about the colors in our world.

Press Here: Herve Tullet - This is an interactive book Ben received a few years back from his cousin.  It focuses on Red, Blue, and Yellow, as well as counting to five, and asks the reader to "press" certain color circles, to shake the book, to blow on the book - all with fun and silly results.  The instructions ensure that kids are actually listening.  Another one that we read over and over and over again.

Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity - Andrew Solomon

I finished reading this book over six months ago, but have put off writing my review of it because it's one of those books I simply cannot convey the importance of through my own writing.  In this non-fiction tome about parents and children, Solomon explores several different categories of exceptional children, from dwarves to prodigies to the deaf to autistic and many more, Solomon questions how much parents should simply accept versus how much a parent should do to understand.  Each chapter of the book is dedicated to a different group, so while the 800+ page volume of the book might be intimidating, I would recommend everyone pick it up and at least read the one chapter that seems most relevant in your life.  In addition to being almost a guide to parenting, I felt the book advocated the idea of community - each of these categories of people were exceptional in their own way, but for the most part wholly different from their parents (but not always.  For example, there were dwarves whose children were also dwarves, deaf parents with deaf children), such that their parents could never truly understand what it meant to be in their children's shoes.  And in these cases, I thought the idea of finding community for those children became so important, as well as finding community for those parents (among other parents with the same kinds of children).  This book was monumentally educational for me with respect to groups I knew absolutely nothing about, and I felt incredibly fair regarding the groups that I do have some experience with.  It also provides so much insight into both the children and the parents in these various groups, I feel it is an important work for helping to increase awareness and empathy.  Again, I can't write a review to do this book justice, but there is a website about the book that is powerful in its own way and provides additional background:  http://www.farfromthetree.com/

Sisterland - Curtis Sittenfeld

I enjoyed two previous novels by Curtis Sittenfeld, Prep and American Wife.  So, when this one came out - and I found out it was about identical twins - I was eager to read it.  The books is about identical twins, Kate and Violet, who grew up in St. Louis and were ostracized for either possessing, or believing they possessed, psychic powers.  Years later, Kate strives to distance herself from her sister, while Violet years to gain back their closeness.  While I didn't think the actual plot line was that interesting, I found the relationship between the two sisters fascinating - just the concept of closeness - the fact that so many people desire to have that closeness with someone, but for those that have it, it can often be suffocating.  This idea, however, could probably have been explored in a more interesting was (and has been in the non-fiction book about identical twins, One and the Same by Abigail Pogrebin).  I have not read Sittenfeld's novel, The Man of My Dreams, but will do so only on the strength of American Wife.  When it comes to Sisterland, I'd recommend taking a pass.