We may not brush our hair, change out of our pajamas, or sit down at the dining table, but we always make time to read.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Lean In - Sheryl Sandberg
I was prepared to be a defensive nay-sayer about this book. I had just grown tired of all the work-life balance debate and everyone judging everyone else for the choices they make and their definitions of success, etc. But, I found so much in this book worth thinking about. Sandberg acknowledges from the outset that her thoughts are directed to women in white collar professions, and she acknowledges throughout the book that so much of what she has been able to accomplish is because she has a supportive spouse (if men were paying attention, many of them would be able to admit the same thing). But, my take-away from this book was also that to really succeed in corporate America, one not only needs a supportive spouse, but they need lots of money for childcare, and they need to be willing to let go of being the primary caregiver who is there for everything. And I don't necessarily think that is a bad thing (but the over-attentive parent is a whole different discussion). I think many of the suggestions Sandberg has could work in my workplace, and many of them are totally irrelevant. But, at the end of the day, I think the main message I got from the book (which I have been trying to embrace) is that we each need to figure out what we want - what we want from our careers, what we want with respect to our families and children - realize that there needs to be some give and take - and then we need to give up our guilt and go for it. I also like that Sandberg acknowledged the value of people who have made different decisions than her. One story that stuck out was her thanks for the parents who do all the volunteer work at her kids' schools - she identified them as the SAHMs though in my experience many of them also work outside the home, and some are dads. But, just that we all benefit from the time and commitment that they give to the schools and to our children when we can't always be there because we're on a business trip or a late meeting - and so while we might not make that same choice for our careers and families, we benefit from their choice and we should recognize that. Anyway, that was just one small point in a book of much larger points. I did not agree with everything, of course, and I certainly would not make the same choices as Sandberg, but I appreciated her thoughts - they really got me thinking about what I can do in my life to better find the balance that I want, to be happy, and not to succumb to martyrdom.