Just a couple memoirs...

Memoirs are all over the place - from people who have lived full lives to others who just want to write about a specific incident in their possibly still young lives.  I never think that I would have much to write about if I sat down and tried to tell someone about my life - but then I read some of these books and I think, well, perhaps everyone does have a story to tell.  Some more insightful or inspiring or instructive or interesting than others.

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanthini:  This book been sitting in my bedside table for quite awhile and I haven't been able to bring myself to read it. It just seemed too sad - since it's been all over the news that it was written by and about a young successful doctor at Stanford who dies of cancer. But, it's been recommended by so many people that I decided to make this my first read of 2018. Kalanithi is a beautiful writer - this book is short and can be read quickly, but I found myself reading slowly (and with my breath held), both because I wanted to savor the prose, but probably also because I knew what was coming. The book recounts his love of literature, and how he came to be a doctor - the grueling hours he put in, and the constant thinking he did about the meaning of life, even amidst so much pain and trauma. Even knowing what was going to happen, I couldn't stop myself from crying at the end. The thought of losing a spouse or a child or a father is so tragic - but there was also an incredibly peace that came from Kalanithi's words. My understanding is that Kalanithi's spouse, Lucy, is now in a relationship with a man who lost his own wife to cancer (her memoir was also published posthumously: The Bright Hour). I find the idea of making and finding that connection quite comforting. Facing the same fate, I don't think I would have made the same decisions as Kalanithi in terms of work and family, but that's obviously impossible to know - and reading this book (as probably with any book about someone dying far too early), I think it's made me rethink some choices, and certainly reevaluate my general outlook on life - and I suppose that's a good thing, especially as a way to start out a new year.

Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson: Given my line of work as a capital habeas attorney, I am interested in most books having to do with the mess of our criminal justice system, and anyone who is attempting to tackle this huge problem.  Bryan Stevenson is well known in the world in which I work - as a crusader and tireless advocate.  So, I pre-ordered his memoir when it came out, and read it in just over a day.  It's well-written and easy to read - Stevenson tells the story of his upbringing and career, interspersed with the stories of a couple of his clients - clients whose cases best illustrate the problems he is trying to address in his representations - problems with racism at every stage of our system - and the effects that this racism has had, not just on individuals, but on entire communities.  At the end of this - I cried - mostly as a result of Stevenson's beautiful writing, and the way he was able to articulate so many of the feelings that I have had doing this work.  But, I still wished there had been more about his own life in the book - it didn't seem like much of a memoir to me.  There were certainly some tid-bits of his life, and his opinions about the system - maybe something that wouldn't have been as well-received had the book been billed as non-fiction simply about the work.  But, I found myself wanting to know more about how he lives, how he balances, how he gets up in the morning - and then I thought, well maybe someone who has made this huge of an impact doesn't really get to have much of a life.  He has dedicated everything - to the point that the work really is his life.  It is admirable, but is it healthy?  Does that matter?  Are we, as a society, dependent on having people - in all kinds of professions that benefit the greater good - who don't need/want/realize they need or want that kind of balance?  This is an important book that I wish everyone would read - particularly people who don't otherwise think much about our criminal justice system.  I think Stevenson has a kind and brilliant perspective to share - and maybe if each one of us does something, it wouldn't fall on just a few to do everything.